so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
