What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize