I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
