Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
