I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
