You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize