I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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