Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
