i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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