You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
