im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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