you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She told me I should be a condom model.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
