Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you made out with another girl for some wings
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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