why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
His nipple licking is glorious
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