The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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