Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
