why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
