dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
