For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
