Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
