i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
