R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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