Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
