Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
