I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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