I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
