I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
dude. I can hear the air.
And then he peed in my hair
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