My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
