everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
