doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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