Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
