I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
