you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
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Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
