a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
