No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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