1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I have tasted many bathrooms
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
