Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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