Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
