We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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