u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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