so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
