Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we're chasing vodka with high fives
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I will pee on everything he values.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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