Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
