Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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