I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
