she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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