we made out on top of his cat.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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