Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
