32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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