Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
