That's intense
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
