Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
