Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
