Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's never too late to be topless.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
If I die, sorry about rent.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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