i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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