I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
