i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
third nipple confirmed
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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